Sometimes it’s easy to lie to others but it’s quite difficult to make our inner self make belief in the lies we are telling ourselves. There are a few things we knew that we are lying to ourselves but we refuse to address them. Our lies may not affect anyone more than our self. There can be no one who can benefited more than ourselves if we confront the lies we are telling ourselves.
Why we lie to ourselves?
We lie to our vulnerable self to make it feel better and accommodate to the situation. Maybe because it can temporarily soothe our wounds and can relieve ourselves from the ache of failure and disappointment. We lie to reassure our shaken up faith and to conceal from the pain of failures and struggles.
The 13 lies we are telling ourselves and we know it
1. We do not know what’s wrong
For a fact, we know what’s wrong and what we have to do to make it. It is just that we find it hard or we don’t want to be getting in terms with it. If it’s about career, personal life, health, or our life goals, we know what’s wrong but we do not acknowledge our conscience. We look out for answers outside when we know what’s wrong.
2. We can hold the burden all alone of the relationship
Everyone has some point in their life where they are the only one holding the relationship. However hard we try deep inside we know that it never could be the way we want. It may be because the other person might not feel the way we feel. It’s not even wrong and we couldn’t force the other person to feel the way we want. It doesn’t let us move forward. Sometimes we have to let go and move on. It’s not about getting acknowledged but if you are holding the entire burden, it doesn’t let you move forward.
3. Waiting for the ideal
We all live in the ideal myth even when we know that there cannot be ideal situations and circumstances. Most of the time, we procrastinate, postpone, and run away from the situation claiming to wait for the ideal time but we are just lying to ourselves. The idea of Ideal time is itself a myth. We know that the right time is when we begin and there couldn’t be any ideal.
4. Our circumstances affect others
We want people to show some empathy when we need it. We have family, friends and colleague with whom we share our problems. But the question is whether it will affect us the same way it affects us? The answer is NO. We know that our circumstances, our struggle don’t affect others. And for a fact, there is nothing wrong with it. Everyone is struggling with something or other. They can be little empathetic about our issues but if we expect them to get equally affected by all our problems then we should know that they won’t.
5. It’s because of this or them
We all are very good at not taking responsibility for our failure and for any unfavourable event and even of our made choices. For success, a person credits himself for his hard work, persistence, and all the efforts of his and his only. But for failure, we often make fate, circumstances, and everything and everyone except ourselves in the hierarchy of the reasons for failure. When we point at someone or something for our mistakes, we know that we are lying.
6. You have a plan
We procrastinate and we keep on thinking on a lot of plans. We plan for our career, our personal goals, health goals and many things. A few of the things in our wish list is the same every year and we keep postponing it. We keep on planning it without taking any action to achieve it. We know that without making any action we cannot have it. Even the best plan or idea wouldn’t make any sense until it is put into action.
7. It is late now
It’s never too late to start something or to end something. We know that even if it’s late you are less bothered. We know that we want it as badly and as desperately we first desired. Sometimes the fear and the embarrassment we feel in front of society or from the people around us, we let go of our inner desire. But when we say it is late, we are lying.
8. It is all fate
We held fate or destiny responsible for the things that we couldn’t achieve or get success. Even when we blame fate responsible, we somewhere know the reasons which didn’t let us succeed. And those reasons could be everything but not fate. Human beings have the tendency to pass on the responsibility of any unwarranted failures to an act of fate.
9. You don’t care
Human beings are the most vulnerable species and we do get affected easily. When we claim that we don’t care about, the fact is we do care about it. We care about the opinions and judgments of the people. We care for the acceptance and approval of the people surrounding us. When we find constant criticism and become a subject of everyone’s judgement, we find it difficult to cope up. We shield it with an “I don’t care” attitude. We claim that we don’t affect what people say or think. If we don’t get affected, it’s good but in actual everyone is affected. We lie that we don’t care when we do. It’s not wrong to get affected. The best part of getting affected is to make learning out of it and to not let the criticism dominate you.
10. Our efforts can Change Them
We all have our own opinions, thoughts, judgments, notions, and all are backed with our own set of principles, past experiences, and mindsets. We waste a lot of our time and energy trying to make them feel the way we want. Sometimes we know that it cannot happen. We are very well aware of the people whose mindsets we cannot change and still we get upset when our opinions fail to accord.
11. We don’t expect anything
We often claim that we don’t expect anything from anyone. For a fact, we actually do. We always expect people to be happy with our happiness. We expect people to be a bit empathetic when things are not the way we want. By saying that we don’t expect anything, we try to build a shield to protect the vulnerable soul from getting hurt. It’s not bad to expect but you cannot over expect from someone. It’s not the expectation that hurts but it’s the over-expectation that makes ourselves felt a victim of every sin.
12. I Can’t
Most of the time when we say “I Can’t”, we do not mean it and we lie to ourselves. We say it because we are more affected by judgments, opinions, and the outcomes more than the desire to pursue anything. We always have an idea about our capabilities and capacity. One might not be that efficient or that good in his skills but when we say we can’t, we lie to escape from the mediocrity that has been filled in ourselves from the fear of failure.
13. Forgive and Forgiveness
Nothing is more affected than the bruised soul and we always feel someone responsible for that. We always believe that we cannot forgive someone for their deeds but we can. We always can. It gets very tough to walk with a load of grudges and enmity. At the end of the day, it is affecting ourselves more than anyone and you should better let it go. We can always forgive and move on. We lie to ourselves that we can’t but we actually can.
Do share your opinion and thoughts on the subject. Thanks for Reading