Everyone has advice. And advice for others is everywhere.
From the moment we enter adulthood – sometimes even earlier – we’re bombarded with opinions, suggestions, and unsolicited wisdom about every aspect of our lives: when to get married, what career path to follow, how to lose weight, how to be in a relationship, and even how to be happy.
Some of it comes from love. Some from experience. And some, unfortunately, from a place of control or ego. What makes it worse? We usually didn’t ask for it.
Yet, no matter how often we roll our eyes, sigh, or nod politely while ignoring it, certain types of advice just keep showing up.
Here are 13 classic pieces of advice people keep giving us – even when we don’t want them to – and why we often resist them.
1. “When are you getting married?”
This one tops the list, especially for anyone over 25.
While society often treats marriage as a life milestone with a deadline, not everyone moves at the same pace, or even wants to marry at all.
Why we hate it:
Because it implies something is missing if we’re not married yet. It reduces our value to our relationship status.
The truth:
Marriage is a personal journey. Some find love early, some later and some never and live full lives anyway.
2. “You should settle down and start a family.”
Closely tied to marriage advice, this one assumes that having kids is the ultimate destination for everyone.
Why we hate it:
Because it dismisses personal choice, career focus, health issues, or different life values.
The truth:
Not everyone wants the same life. And there’s nothing wrong with building a family your way, or choosing not to.
3. “Why don’t you try this diet?”
Unsolicited health and weight-loss advice is both common and incredibly invasive.
Why we hate it:
Because it assumes we’re not already aware of our body or haven’t tried to improve it. It can also trigger insecurity or past trauma.
The truth:
Health is personal, and transformation takes time, self-love, and the right mindset—not constant pressure.
4. “You should choose a safer career.”
Especially common for those pursuing creative, entrepreneurial, or unconventional paths.
Why we hate it:
Because it underestimates our passion and implies we’re being irresponsible or naive.
The truth:
There’s no one-size-fits-all in careers. Risk can lead to breakthroughs. “Safe” isn’t always satisfying.
5. “You’re too picky in relationships.”
This one often comes after a breakup or a long single phase, suggesting we’re expecting too much.
Why we hate it:
Because it undermines our standards and boundaries, and assumes the issue is our expectations, not compatibility.
The truth:
Being selective isn’t wrong. It’s often the sign of emotional maturity and self-awareness.
6. “Just forgive and forget.”
Advice that often comes when dealing with heartbreak, betrayal, or toxic relationships.
Why we hate it:
Because it oversimplifies pain and skips the part where healing is actually hard work.
The truth:
Forgiveness is powerful, but forgetting isn’t always wise. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to honour your pain.
7. “That’s not a real job.”
Freelancers, creators, content writers, YouTubers, influencers, or anyone building a business online hear this one a lot.
Why we hate it:
Because it’s dismissive, outdated, and rooted in misunderstanding the modern economy.
The truth:
The world has evolved. Remote work, side hustles, and digital businesses are legitimate and thriving.
8. “You should smile more.”
Often directed at women or introverts, this advice feels more like a command than care.
Why we hate it:
Because it invalidates our emotional state and implies that being quiet or serious is a flaw.
The truth:
You don’t owe anyone a smile. Being authentic is more powerful than performing happiness.
9. “You’re wasting your time.”
This one stings when you’re chasing a dream others don’t understand—writing a book, starting a brand, learning a new skill.
Why we hate it:
Because it’s rooted in fear, not support. It assumes success should be immediate.
The truth:
Great things take time. Passion isn’t a waste. It’s fuel for a fulfilling life.
10. “Just move on.”
Easier said than done. This advice tends to show up after heartbreak, loss, or failure.
Why we hate it:
Because it rushes us through grief and assumes healing has a timeline.
The truth:
You don’t just “move on” – you move through. And that’s a deeply personal process.
11. “Stop being so sensitive.”
Often used to shut down emotions, especially in men or highly empathetic people.
Why we hate it:
Because it makes vulnerability seem like a weakness instead of a strength.
The truth:
Sensitivity is a superpower. Emotional depth leads to better relationships and deeper understanding.
12. “You’re getting too old for that.”
Whether it’s changing careers, dating someone younger, travelling solo, or starting over, age shaming is common.
Why we hate it:
Because it tries to limit our potential based on a number, not our desire or capacity.
The truth:
There is no “too old” for chasing joy, purpose, or passion. Your timeline is yours.
13. “You just need to be positive.”
This advice comes during tough times, but often feels tone-deaf and dismissive.
Why we hate it:
Because toxic positivity invalidates real emotions like sadness, anger, or anxiety.
The truth:
You can be hopeful and hurt. Real growth happens when we honour the whole spectrum of emotion.
Why We Reject Advice
Even well-meaning suggestions can hit the wrong nerve. Why?
- They feel judgmental.
- Advice can sound like criticism, especially when it touches on insecurities.
- They trigger emotional wounds.
- Suggestions about weight, career, or relationships often remind us of past failures or fears.
- They come unsolicited.
- When we’re not ready to hear it, even the best advice can feel invasive.
How to Handle Unwanted Advice
You can’t always stop people from giving advice, but you can control how you respond.
1. Pause before reacting.
Not all advice deserves a reaction. Choose calm over conflict.
2. Filter the advice.
Ask: Is this coming from love or ego? Experience or projection?
3.Use what resonates.
Even the most annoying advice might hold a seed of truth. Take what helps, leave the rest.
4. Communicate your boundaries.
It’s okay to say, “Thanks, but I’ve got this” or “I’m not looking for advice right now.”
Advice is often more about the giver than the receiver. And while some of it is rooted in care, it’s important to recognise that your life is ultimately yours to live.
You are allowed to take the path that makes sense to you, even if it looks strange to others. You’re allowed to fail, start over, be different, and grow on your own timeline.
And yes, you’re even allowed to ignore some advice, especially the ones you never asked for.