Ideal Myth Archives - The Ideal Myth

The Myth of an Ideal Man

August 11, 2025June 1, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

In countless stories, films, and social narratives, we often hear about “the ideal man”- that almost mythical figure who is strong yet sensitive, wealthy yet humble, protective yet gentle, ambitious but emotionally available. He is everything- at once.

But let’s pause and reflect:

Who is this “ideal man”?

Does he exist?

And more importantly, is it fair to expect one person to embody an ever-expanding list of contradictory traits?

The myth of the ideal man is not just unrealistic- it’s damaging. It creates pressure, confusion, and a cycle of disappointment- for men trying to live up to it and for those expecting to find it.

Let’s unpack this myth, examine its roots, and redefine what truly makes a man worth respecting and valuing.

1. The “Ideal Man” Is a Shifting Social Construct

What’s considered ideal in one culture or generation might be completely different in another.

In the past, the ideal man was:

A sole breadwinner
A protector and provider
Emotionally reserved

Today, the “ideal man” is expected to be:

Financially successful
Physically fit
Emotionally intelligent
Supportive, empathetic, ambitious, romantic, socially aware… the list goes on.

In short, the ideal is ever-changing- and endlessly expanding.

No human being can sustainably check every box. Yet, the pressure to try leads many men to suppress their authenticity in an attempt to perform perfection.

2. Idealism vs. Humanity: Why We Set the Bar Too High

When we expect perfection, we forget to embrace reality. Whether it’s in dating, marriage, friendship, or leadership, many of us unknowingly hold onto an image of what a man should be rather than who he is.

“He must always be strong, but also vulnerable. Provide, but also be fully present at home. Lead, but also listen without ego.”

These expectations are not only contradictory- they’re exhausting. And they often stem from:

Media portrayals of “perfect men”
Personal insecurities or unmet emotional needs
Cultural and gender norms
Idealized parental figures

The result?

Men feel like they’re constantly falling short, and those around them feel constantly let down.

3. Does the Ideal Man Even Exist?

The short answer? No.

There is no perfect man. Just like there’s no perfect woman, perfect partner, or perfect human. Every man is a mix of:

Strengths and weaknesses
Emotional baggage and personal growth
Aspirations and fears
Confidence and self-doubt

Expecting someone to never falter, never disappoint, never fail- sets both the man and the relationship up for frustration.

Real intimacy begins when we stop chasing ideals and start honouring the human in front of us.

4. What Do We Really Expect When We Say “Ideal”?

Digging deeper, when people say they want “an ideal man,” what they often mean is:

Someone kind and respectful
Trustworthy and loyal
Supportive and understanding
Consistent in words and actions
Emotionally present (even if still learning how to express it)

These are not superhuman qualities. They are human qualities- nurtured through experience, emotional safety, and mutual effort.

Maybe it’s not about the “ideal man.”

Maybe it’s about a man who’s willing to grow, listen, love, and lead himself and others with sincerity.

5. The Journey, Not the Destination

Being a good man is not a destination. It’s a journey of self-awareness, learning, and evolving. The men who are admired most are rarely those who are “ideal” from the start- but those who:

Take responsibility for their actions
Learn from mistakes
Show up even when it’s hard
Evolve over time
Care deeply and act with integrity

The myth of the “finished product” keeps many men from embracing the messy, powerful process of becoming.

We don’t need ideal men.

We need real men willing to become better, not perfect.

6. What Should Be Expected from a Man?

Instead of demanding perfection, we can shift expectations toward:

Authenticity – A man who is real about his strengths and flaws
Effort – He shows up, tries, communicates, and evolves
Respect – Treats others with dignity regardless of their role
Emotional Maturity – Not about perfection but about awareness and control
Accountability – Admits when he’s wrong, and works to make it right
Compassion – Towards others and himself

These expectations are not based in fantasy. They’re grounded in mutual respect and real growth.

7. Accepting Men as They Are- Not As We Wish Them to Be

One of the most empowering shifts we can make is learning to accept the people in our lives for who they are- not who we wish they were.

When we expect an “ideal man,” we often:

Overlook the beauty of his existing strengths
Undervalue his personal journey
Try to fix or change him instead of understanding him
Place conditions on love and connection

True connection begins with acceptance. And transformation thrives in an atmosphere of support, not pressure.

8. The Cost of the Ideal: Mental Health and Masculinity

The myth of the ideal man also fuels toxic masculinity, emotional suppression, and mental health struggles.

Men taught to “man up,” hide vulnerability, or meet impossible standards are more likely to:

Struggle in silence
Avoid help
Develop identity crises
Experience shame when they fail to meet expectations

Breaking the myth isn’t just good for relationships- it’s critical for mental wellness and emotional liberation.

From Ideal to Authentic

It’s time we stop searching for the “ideal man” and start honoring the authentic man – flawed, evolving, courageous enough to be real.

We don’t need more perfect men.

We need more men who are:

Honest, even when it’s hard
Growing, even when it’s slow
Loving, even when it’s scary
Human, always

And we all men and women- can contribute to a culture that values progress over perfection.

Why Expecting a Relationship to be Ideal is a Myth

August 11, 2025May 31, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

We grow up on fairy tales, romantic movies, and love stories that paint relationships as magical, effortless, and perfectly fulfilling. These stories often feature soulmates who “just get each other,” never argue, and live happily ever after with unwavering passion.

But here’s the truth:

Ideal relationships don’t exist – not in the way we’ve been led to believe. And chasing that illusion often does more harm than good.

In reality, relationships are complex, evolving, and built – not discovered. They take communication, compromise, and emotional effort. They don’t magically become ideal – they become real, with time and mutual understanding.

Let’s explore why the concept of the “ideal relationship” is a myth, how unrealistic expectations can damage real connection, and what healthy expectations in love should actually look like.

1. The Fantasy of an Ideal Relationship

The term ideal relationship is loaded with assumptions:

Constant emotional support
No misunderstandings or fights
Endless passion
Shared goals and perfect communication
A partner who “completes” you

This fantasy often leads people to:

Compare their real relationship with imaginary ideals
Feel like something is always missing
Blame their partner for not measuring up

But relationships aren’t meant to be perfect. They’re meant to be honest, resilient, and fulfilling in a human way.

2. Why Expecting an Ideal Relationship Is Harmful

When we hold our relationships to the standard of being “ideal,” we invite disappointment and disconnection. Here’s why:

a. Unrealistic Comparisons

Thanks to social media and curated love stories online, many people believe everyone else is in a happier, more “perfect” relationship. In reality, every couple faces challenges – they’re just not always visible.

b. Pressure on Your Partner

Expecting a partner to fulfil every emotional, romantic, financial, and social need is unrealistic. People are human, not fantasy fulfilment machines.

c. Fear of Conflict

Idealizing love makes many people believe that arguments mean incompatibility. But conflict is a normal – and even necessary – part of a healthy relationship when handled with respect and understanding.

d. Lack of Growth

Chasing perfection often leads to stagnation. Real relationships involve learning, adapting, and evolving. That can’t happen if both partners are pretending or trying to avoid vulnerability to maintain the illusion of perfection.

3. Why Relationships Can’t – and Shouldn’t – Be Ideal

There’s no universal definition of an ideal relationship because:

People have different emotional needs
Circumstances change
Personalities and values evolve over time
External stressors (work, health, family) impact the dynamics

If we stop chasing an “ideal,” we can start building a relationship that works for us, not one that looks good from the outside.

4. Healthy Expectations in a Relationship

So what should we expect in a loving, grounded relationship?

Here’s what real love looks like:

a. Mutual Respect

Both partners value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality.

b. Open Communication

You may not agree on everything, but you talk openly – without fear of judgment or shutdown.

c. Emotional Safety

Both people feel safe to express their needs, concerns, and feelings.

d. Willingness to Grow

Nobody is perfect, but both are willing to evolve – individually and together.

e. Shared Responsibility

Both partners contribute to the relationship – emotionally, logistically, and in problem-solving.

These expectations are realistic, attainable, and lead to genuine fulfilment – unlike chasing an ideal.

5. What to Stop Expecting

To create a healthy relationship, you may need to let go of expectations like:

Your partner will always know what you feel or need
You’ll never fight
Love will always feel passionate and exciting
Your partner will change to meet your fantasy
They will always be emotionally available

Letting go of these expectations opens the door to something better: an authentic connection built on honesty and respect.

6. Building Real Connection Instead of Idealization

A real relationship requires you to:

Show up honestly
Acknowledge flaws and work through them
Apologize and forgive
Learn each other’s emotional languages
Celebrate small, everyday acts of love

These things don’t fit neatly into an Instagram reel, but they are what make a relationship deep, stable, and long-lasting.

7. Love Is Not About Perfection – It’s About Partnership

The myth of an ideal relationship implies there’s one formula, one “right way” to love. But every couple must define their own version of what works.

Some relationships are loud and passionate, others are quiet and steady. Some share every interest, others thrive on contrast. What matters is how you treat each other – not how close you are to society’s vision of perfection.

Choose Real Over Ideal

An “ideal” relationship may look beautiful on the surface – but it often crumbles under pressure. A real relationship might be messy, imperfect, and full of hard conversations – but it’s honest, secure, and deeply rewarding.

So stop chasing flawless love stories. Instead:

Choose connection over comparison
Choose growth over perfection
Choose presence over fantasy

Because the best kind of love isn’t ideal - it’s real.

13 Reasons How The IDEAL MYTH Impacts Our life

August 11, 2025May 30, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

The Illusion of the “Ideal circumstances”

We’ve all said it:

“I’ll start the business when the economy improves.”

“I’ll follow my passion when I’m financially secure.”

“I’ll work on myself when life calms down.”

“I’ll speak up when the time is right.”

We convince ourselves that someday, the perfect moment will arrive – when we’ll feel ready, supported, and equipped to finally begin. But here’s the honest truth:

That “ideal moment” rarely comes.

Waiting for ideal circumstances might feel like strategy, but more often, it’s a subtle, socially acceptable form of self-sabotage.

Let’s explore how living in the ideal myth can impact your life, the emotional cost of inaction, and how to begin despite the imperfections.

1. Perfection Is a Moving Target

The biggest problem with waiting for ideal circumstances is that “ideal” keeps shifting.

There will always be:

One more skill you think you need
One more challenge to solve
One more “sign” to arrive

Perfection creates an illusion of control, but it ends up becoming a never-ending postponement.

Real growth comes not when everything aligns, but when you decide to move anyway.

2. Waiting Feeds Fear, Not Readiness

We tell ourselves we’re just preparing. But most of the time, we’re not preparing – we’re avoiding.

Avoiding:

Rejection
Judgment
Uncertainty
The possibility of failure

And the more we wait, the stronger the fear becomes. The mind starts creating worst-case scenarios and false alarms.

Action, not delay, is what builds courage.

3. Opportunities Don’t Wait for You

Life doesn’t pause until you’re ready.

While you’re waiting for the perfect opportunity, someone else with less experience, fewer resources, and more courage is taking that leap.

The longer you wait, the more doors quietly close – not because you weren’t good enough, but because you didn’t knock.

4. Waiting Delays Learning

One of the biggest hidden costs of waiting is delayed learning.

You learn more by doing imperfectly than by thinking endlessly. Action teaches:

What works
What doesn’t
What you need to improve
What you’re capable of

Even failure is data. But waiting? It teaches nothing except hesitation.

5. You Miss the Magic of the Journey

Often, the path we imagine is very different from the path we actually walk.

By waiting for an ideal route, we skip the growth, grit, and surprising turns that shape us into who we’re meant to be.

You don’t grow just by arriving – you grow by walking the road.

6. You Settle into a Comfort Zone

Waiting can become addictive. You get comfortable with the waiting itself.

You say:

“I’m not ready yet”
“The timing isn’t right”
“Maybe next year”

And before you know it, your dreams shrink to fit your fears, and you call it realism.

But comfort is rarely where the best parts of life live.

7. Relationships Can Suffer

Sometimes, we delay emotional vulnerability or meaningful conversations because we’re waiting for “the right moment.”

But while you wait to speak your truth, others may move on. While you wait to show love, connection fades. While you wait to heal, resentment grows.

Ideal moments in relationships often don’t come – you create them by showing up when it matters, not when it’s convenient.

8. You Miss the Power of Momentum

When you take action, even small steps, you create momentum. That momentum becomes motivation. And motivation creates clarity.

But waiting? It creates stagnation.

Imagine pushing a car. The first push is the hardest. But once it moves, it gets easier. The same is true with life.

Start – even if it’s slow. Progress compounds.

9. Waiting Trains You to Doubt Yourself

Every time you wait because you think you’re not ready, you’re reinforcing a belief that you can’t handle it.

Over time, this chips away at your confidence.

Instead of building trust in your ability, you’re building a habit of hesitation.

Start before you’re ready – and learn to trust that you’ll rise to the occasion.

10. You Risk Regret More Than Failure

Ask anyone looking back on life, and they’ll rarely say, “I wish I had waited longer.”

They say:

“I wish I had started sooner.”
“I wish I had taken that chance.”
“I wish I didn’t let fear stop me.”

Regret is a heavy burden – often heavier than failure. Because failure can teach. But regret only lingers.

11. You Set the Wrong Example

If you have kids, a team, or a following, remember: people are watching you. They’re learning from your choices.

When you wait, hesitate, or play small, others around you may do the same.

But when you lead with courage, despite the imperfection, you inspire others to do the same.

You become proof that it’s possible.

12. Progress Is Found in the Present

We think progress happens later, but it always happens now.

The present moment is where power lives.

Waiting for perfect timing puts your power somewhere in the future – always out of reach.

But when you take imperfect action today, you activate your potential. You shift from dreaming to doing.

13. Ideal Circumstances Might Be a Myth

There may never be a perfect day. The skies may not part. The fear may not fully vanish.

The “ideal circumstances” you’re waiting for?

They might be a myth – a safe fantasy that keeps you from your real calling.

You don’t need perfect.

You need courage, commitment, and the willingness to begin.

So What Should You Do Instead?

Start with what you have.
Use the skills, time, and resources available now.
Break the big goal into small steps.
Momentum builds through simple, consistent actions.
Redefine readiness.
It’s not about feeling 100% ready – it’s about being willing to figure it out as you go.
Take action despite fear.
Fear is a signal, not a stop sign. Let it guide you, not define you.

The Power Is in Your Hands

Waiting feels safe, but progress demands motion.

There is no “Ideal time.” There is only now-this moment, this opportunity, this version of you that is capable of more than you know.

Don’t let the perfect timing be the enemy of a powerful life.

Start. Begin. Act. Learn. Grow.

Because everything you want is waiting on the other side of action.

The myth of an Ideal woman: Breaking Free from Stereotypes and Unrealistic Expectations

August 11, 2025May 30, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

From fairy tales to films, magazines to memes, the image of “the ideal woman” has been etched deep into the collective consciousness. She is graceful, nurturing, and intelligent – but never too ambitious. She’s beautiful – but effortlessly so. She’s soft – but strong. Submissive in love yet bold in adversity. She’s everything – often at once, and almost always flawlessly.

But let’s be honest:

Who is this “ideal woman” really?

Does she exist in the real world?

Or is she just another myth – a product of deep-rooted stereotypes, societal expectations, and impossible standards?

Let’s dismantle the myth of the ideal woman, explore where these beliefs come from, and discuss what we should really strive for when it comes to understanding and valuing the women in our lives – and in ourselves.

1. Who Is Considered an “Ideal Woman”?

The definition of the ideal woman varies by culture, era, and role. Yet, a few common expectations persist:

She must be physically attractive – slim, well-groomed, and youthful.
Emotionally available and nurturing – but not too emotional.
A great mother, devoted partner, and dutiful daughter.
Accomplished professionally – but never too “career-focused.”
Confident – but not “intimidating.”
Submissive but smart. Sexy but modest. Caring but not clingy.

It’s a paradoxical and unrealistic list, and yet it forms the invisible measuring stick by which many women are judged daily.

2. The Role-Based Expectations: A Woman in Every Form

What’s even more complicated is how a woman is expected to switch roles and adjust expectations accordingly:

As a Mother:

She must be self-sacrificing, patient, available 24/7, and always nurturing. Her identity is expected to revolve around her children.

As a Wife:

She should manage the house, support her husband emotionally, be sexually desirable, and handle in-laws and guests with grace – often without complaint.

As a Girlfriend:

She’s expected to be fun, sexy, emotionally available, not “too needy,” and always understanding – never asking too much too soon.

As a Working Woman:

She must outperform to prove herself but remain “likeable.” If she climbs too high, she’s “too driven”; if she doesn’t, she’s “not ambitious enough.”

As a Housewife:

She’s expected to keep everything spotless, cook gourmet meals, and raise the children perfectly – all while accepting the label of being “just a housewife.”

These expectations aren’t just heavy – they’re contradictory, and often impossible to satisfy fully.

3. Expectations for Women vs. Men: A Double Standard

Men, too, face societal pressures – but the comparison isn’t equal.

For instance:

A career-focused man is seen as “driven”; a woman may be labelled “neglectful” of her family.
A man who is assertive is a leader; a woman might be called “bossy” or “aggressive.”
A man who prioritizes self-care is applauded; a woman might be accused of being selfish.

In relationships, women are often expected to be the emotional caregivers and peacekeepers. Like in families, they are the invisible managers. In workplaces, they are either too soft or too harsh.

These double standards not only hurt women – they distort the expectations placed on both genders.

4. Who Decides What’s “Ideal”?

This is the most important question:

Who created these rules? Who benefits from them? And why do we continue to uphold them?

Historically, patriarchal structures have dictated the roles women should play – framing “femininity” around subservience, beauty, and emotional labour. Media, culture, religion, and tradition have reinforced these roles across generations.

But times are changing. Women today are:

Breaking barriers in education, politics, and business.
Choosing motherhood on their terms – or not at all.
Speaking out against unrealistic body standards.
Demanding emotional reciprocity in relationships.
Redefining success, beauty, and strength for themselves.

Yet, the remnants of the “ideal woman” myth still linger – on social media, in family expectations, in dating standards, and in internal self-judgment.

5. The Harm Behind the Ideal

Holding women to an idealized version of femininity has far-reaching consequences:

Mental health struggles – Anxiety, depression, and burnout from trying to “do it all.”
Body image issues – Eating disorders, low self-esteem, and appearance obsession.
Emotional suppression – Feeling guilty for expressing anger, frustration, or ambition.
Relationship strain – From carrying the emotional weight of partnerships.
Loss of self-identity – As women shape themselves into roles they didn’t choose.

It’s not just a myth. It’s a trap.

6. What Should Be Expected From a Woman?

Instead of chasing the illusion of an “ideal woman,” what should we truly value?

Self-awareness and authenticity – A woman who knows herself and lives her truth.
Emotional maturity – Someone who communicates openly and supports growth.
Respect for self and others – Setting boundaries and honouring the same in return.
Ambition (in any form) – Whether it’s raising a family, building a business, or creating art.
Compassion and resilience – Not because she must, but because she chooses to.

These are not gender-specific qualities, but human ones. And they’re worth honouring.

7. From Ideal to Individual

At the heart of the myth is this idea: there is one way to be a woman. One model. One mold.

But in reality, there are as many ways to be a woman as there are women.

Some are loud, some are quiet and some are nurturing. Others are fierce. Some love deeply. Others guard their hearts. Some lead, some follow and some do both at different times.

None of them are “ideal.”

But all of them are worthy. Whole. And powerful.

Let’s Retire the Myth

The myth of the ideal woman does not serve us. It limits the potential of half the population and damages the quality of our relationships and society as a whole.

It’s time to rewrite the script:

Celebrate individuality over conformity.
Value emotional and intellectual growth over appearance.
Expect fairness, not perfection.
See women as humans – not roles to be performed.

The failure myth: How to stop taking it personally

August 11, 2025May 30, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

Why Not Making It Doesn’t Mean You Weren’t Enough

In a world that glorifies success and showcases only the highlight reels, failure often feels like a personal indictment. If you didn’t make it- didn’t achieve that dream, goal, promotion, or vision you were chasing- it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking: “Maybe I just wasn’t enough.”

But that belief, though deeply emotional, is not the truth. It’s part of what we call “the failure myth.” This myth suggests that every failure is a reflection of your capability or worth, when in fact, it’s usually the result of many variables- some within your control, and many that are not.

Let’s dive deep into why failure needs a new lens, how to stop taking it personally, and why the reasons behind failure matter more than the failure itself.

1. The Emotional Weight of Not Making It

When you don’t reach a goal, especially one you’ve worked hard for, it hurts. The mind spirals: “Was I not smart enough?” “Did I waste my time?” “Do I even deserve to try again?”

This emotional weight is real. It’s not just disappointment- it’s self-doubt, shame, and sometimes identity crisis. But here’s the hard truth:

Not making it doesn’t mean you weren’t enough.

It means you didn’t make it yet – or you didn’t make it this time.

You see, failure isn’t final. But when we take it personally, we make it permanent.

2. Failure is a Result, Not a Label

The failure myth begins when we confuse a result with a label.

Failing to get a job does not make you unemployable.
A failed startup does not make you a bad entrepreneur.
A failed relationship does not make you unlovable.
Failing an exam doesn’t make you unintelligent.

These are outcomes, not definitions. Life is filled with variables- timing, resources, health, support systems, luck, and learning curves.

Most of the time, failure just means you were missing a piece of the puzzle- not that the puzzle was broken.

3. What Did You Learn? Finding the “Why” Behind the Miss

The most powerful question you can ask after failing isn’t “Why me?”- it’s “What was missing?”

Understanding the why behind your failure can be more transformative than success.

Maybe you:

Lacked information or training.
Had poor timing or external obstacles.
Weren’t aligned with your purpose or passion.
Didn’t have the right support or resources.
Made one key misstep that now you know to avoid.

Failure becomes a tool for self-awareness, not self-punishment.

When you focus on reasons, not regrets, you grow wiser, more strategic, and emotionally stronger.

4. Society’s Obsession With Winning- and Why It’s Toxic

We live in a culture that celebrates winners and often ignores the effort, learning, and attempts behind the scenes. The media loves the “overnight success” story- but skips the 10 years of invisible hard work behind it.

This creates a toxic environment, where failure is taboo and perfection is idolized. It discourages experimentation, creativity, and emotional honesty.

But remember:

Every successful person has failed more times than you know.

They just chose to keep learning, adapting, and moving forward.

5. You Weren’t the Problem- The Strategy Might Have Been

Another common mistake is self-blame. Instead of evaluating the strategy, approach, or context, we default to thinking we’re broken.

But often, it’s not you- it’s:

The wrong goal for your values.
The wrong environment for your growth.
A flawed plan that needed testing.

Imagine blaming the seed for not growing, when in truth, it was planted in dry soil.

You are not the soil. You are the seed. Change the environment and the outcome changes.

6. The Courage to Reassess and Restart

Failure provides an invitation- not to quit, but to reassess. It allows you to pause and ask:

Am I chasing the right dream?
What’s worth keeping from this journey?
What can I do differently next time?

Taking failure too personally can shut the door. But using it as data reopens the next one.

7. Stop Comparing Your Timeline

Comparison intensifies the failure myth. When someone else reaches success faster, you feel left behind. But life is not a race. It’s not linear. Everyone’s journey is filled with hidden valleys, not just mountaintops.

Stay in your lane. Focus on your timing. Their success doesn’t make your journey less valid.

8. Resilience Is the Real Goal

At the end of the day, success isn’t just about achievements- it’s about who you become. Every failure builds:

Emotional resilience
Mental toughness
Strategic awareness
Self-compassion

These are lifelong assets. They don’t get applause- but they’re what sustains you when life gets hard.

Rewrite the Failure Narrative

Failure isn’t a verdict- it’s feedback. It’s your life saying: There’s a better way. Let’s figure it out.

So the next time you don’t make it, don’t ask, “Am I not enough?”

Ask:

“What am I meant to learn?”

“How can I adjust and grow?”

“What did this teach me about what matters?”

Because the truth is: You are enough. And failure, when understood correctly, can be your greatest teacher.

The myth of the ideal: Debunk the ideal myth

August 11, 2025May 30, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

From childhood, we’re fed stories about the “ideal”:

The ideal career, The ideal partner and The ideal lifestyle

Even the ideal version of ourselves.

It’s everywhere- in advertisements, on social media, in self-help books, and even in casual conversations. But here’s the truth many people spend years learning the hard way:

There is no such thing as “ideal.” It’s a myth- beautifully packaged, widely sold, and profoundly deceptive.

This post dives deep into why the concept of the “ideal” is flawed, why real life doesn’t- and shouldn’t- mirror perfection, and what we can pursue instead to lead more grounded, meaningful lives.

1. The Myth of the Ideal: Where Does It Come From?

The ideal is an illusion created and perpetuated by:

Media: We’re shown highlight reels of success, beauty, and luxury, rarely the struggle behind them.
Societal standards: Cultures often establish benchmarks of what’s considered “ideal”- ideal body type, marriage, career path, or financial success.
Comparisons: In the age of social media, we constantly measure our reality against someone else’s curated image.
Fear of inadequacy: Striving for an ideal gives us a false sense of direction, a “perfect” destination that seems to promise worth and happiness.

But here’s the problem- the ideal is subjective, ever-changing, and unattainable.

2. Why There Can Be Nothing Truly Ideal

To understand why ideals don’t work, we must acknowledge a few truths:

a. Life is Fluid

Circumstances change. People evolve. What seems perfect today may be irrelevant tomorrow. There is no static point in life where everything aligns “perfectly” forever.

b. Perfection is a Moving Target

Even when we achieve what we once believed was ideal- a job, a relationship, a body weight- it often doesn’t feel as fulfilling as we imagined. Why? Because our definition of “ideal” shifts with time, maturity, and context.

c. Ideal Leaves No Room for Growth

Perfection leaves no space for trial, error, or failure. Yet real growth happens in the mess, the mistakes, and the moments of uncertainty. An ideal scenario discourages experimentation and flexibility.

d. Ideal = Pressure

The pursuit of perfection creates overwhelming pressure to perform, conform, and achieve. It leads to burnout, anxiety, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome- not peace or fulfilment.

3. The Problem with Expecting the Ideal

Expecting ideal outcomes leads to:

• Disappointment

Reality rarely lives up to fantasy, so we constantly feel let down, even by good things.

• Self-Criticism

When we fall short of the “ideal,” we blame ourselves, not the unrealistic standard we were chasing.

• Relationship Damage

Expecting ideal behaviour from others- partners, friends, and family- can lead to frustration, disconnection, and unfair resentment.

• Stunted Progress

Waiting for the perfect time, idea, or opportunity often leads to inaction. Progress, not perfection, is the real driver of success.

4. What to Strive for Instead of Ideal

Here’s what works better than perfection:

Suitability

Look for what fits you- your values, goals, personality- not what looks ideal on paper or Instagram.

Alignment

Instead of perfect outcomes, aim for alignment. Are your actions aligned with your purpose? Are your choices aligned with your needs and values?

Adaptability

Life is unpredictable. Choose flexibility over flawlessness. The ability to adapt is far more valuable than perfection.

Sufficiency Over Perfection

Ask: Is this enough? Not: Is this perfect? Enough is realistic. Enough is peaceful.

5. Real-Life Examples: How Letting Go of Ideal Changes Everything

Career

Instead of waiting for your “dream job,” take the job that aligns with your skillset and provides growth. Use it as a stepping stone, not a final destination.

Relationships

Stop comparing your relationship to Hollywood romances. Focus on communication, trust, and mutual growth- even if it’s not picture-perfect.

Self-Image

Instead of chasing the perfect body, focus on strength, energy, and self-care. Confidence comes from consistency, not comparison.

6. The Freedom in Letting Go

When you let go of the ideal:

You stop feeling like you’re failing.
You start appreciating what is instead of mourning what isn’t.
You create room for grace, self-compassion, and genuine fulfilment.

This doesn’t mean you stop striving- it means you start striving smarter. You build your life not on fantasy, but on foundations that support you as you are.

Real is the New Ideal

The ideal myth is deeply ingrained in our culture, but it’s time we see it for what it is: a trap.

Perfect doesn’t exist.

But real, honest, and aligned do.

Choose messy over manufactured, Choose genuine over glamorous and Choose reality- not because it’s easier, but because it’s true.

Because when you stop chasing ideal, you start living fully.

13 Myths We Should Stop Believing and Start Living

August 11, 2025October 19, 2021 by The Ideal Myth

In proving a point, we have stopped living. Below is the list of 13 myths we should stop believing and start living.

1. We have all the time

Procrastination is a thing we all are aware of. The time we waste in not doing things we want adds one day to the life we don’t want. We know the fact that every day we are losing one day to reach where we want to. Instead of living with regrets, we should spend our life doing things we desire, with the people who matter, on things that make us content.

2. The perfect retirement plan

Yes, most of us think like that and if not about retirement plans, we always wait for perfect plans for even small trips. We all know the one fact that life is uncertain. The pandemic has made us more aware of this fact.

3. Money is a priority and not family

We know the very fact that money can’t buy us everything. Money can get fulfil your needs, buy you luxury and comfort. Happiness is somewhere beyond money. With the family, children, your spouse, father, mother. You can have enough money all your life but you can’t have them all your life.

4. It’s late to learn something

Now, who decides the ideal time to learn something or do something. Learning is a lifelong process and we learn every day many things that we even don’t realize. No matter if what you learning is not important to others. If it is important to you, go ahead. People waste so much time and do not care. So, if you have any strong interest and desire to learn, don’t think twice.

5. It’s late to mend your relationship

We fight and we reconcile. Sometimes we don’t reconcile because we have put up so much ego, we don’t apologize, we don’t want to be the first one to talk. Even sometimes we wish to talk or feel to end this, our ego doesn’t allow us. We all might have one relationship that has become sour but deep inside, we don’t want it that way. In all this, at both ends, the difference stays. This can happen in friendships, relationships, and even in a family. We all assume things but we don’t take a step to mend things. Sometimes we never know that the other person wishes to mend things. Also, there is no need to live with the burden, you should always try and at least from your side to mend your relationships.

6. Your past won’t let you move ahead

There is no one who is free from committing mistakes, failures, guilt, sorrow, loss of loved ones, and other hardships. We all have felt the feeling at some similar or some different situations. It seems difficult but not impossible to move ahead. We can always and everyone can always move ahead with life. You don’t have to take the burden all your life. Life is too short to carry the burden of the past and there are endless things to experience.

7. You are dependent on some one…

Everything goes on…and people accommodate even with the loss and absence of the person who once seems irreplaceable at one point in time. Sometimes we have to be selfish for our inner desire and wishes. We have to focus on the things we want.

8. There is something Ideal

The Ideal myth is something that stops many of us from achieving things we desire, things we love and we want. We all wait for things to get ideal and perfect which pauses our chances of getting success. There’s no harm in failure, no harm in imperfect plans but there is the harm in living the ideal myth.

9. You’re too busy with everything

It’s a myth that we are too busy, the truth is we always have time for things and people that we consider important. It is sometimes an excuse as well that we don’t have time. No one can be too busy to live is as simple as that. If things are really important to us we definitely can have time.

10. You have to be rich first

There is not enough money and not even for a billionaire. The want for more never ends. We think that we have to be rich to be happy but we have to be content with whatever we have to live. You cant skip living in a quest to become rich first. Instead you can earn more, live more, enjoy more, and all throughout your journey. You have to be content and start living.

11. Complaints

Everyone has a bucket of things that make you sad, people who make you feel not good enough, situations that make you helpless. We all have complaints about life, people and things but do we have to live in it or we should move ahead. You can live withholding complaints in your head.

12. Social Media is an integral part of life

Social media has become an important part of our life and we felt handicapped when we are not connected. A slower internet connection or a social networking website down makes us impatient, restless and irritate us. Can you remember the time or place where you didn’t felt the need to check your social media feeds without someone forcing you to do so? It happens less but it actually makes you happy and it makes you realize that social media is just a part of life and there is much more to life.

13. Approval of people

You don’t have to seek approval from others for your life. It’s a myth that you have to take the approval of everyone for your choices. If you are content, confident, and happy with your life choices then start living without expecting anyone’s approval.

The Ideal Time or The Right Time

August 11, 2025July 8, 2021 by The Ideal Myth

There are things that we are doing and the things we want to do. It can be following something our interest, learning a hobby, focusing on a healthy body, or starting a small business. It can be anything you are willing but you are waiting for the ideal time to begin. All of us have one or more things that we are postponing and not doing. We fear consequences that would lead to if we rush into things. Thus, we decide to wait for the ideal time to begin.

It is not easy for everyone to follow the things they are willing to and that too without having any practical calculation. We have to maintain our personal life as well and also we have to make a living through a steady means of income. It is very much sane to have all the calculations done and have a plan for everything. We make a plan to board when all things are in place and every circumstance is favourable and there is an ideal time to begin.

But in actual

Should we wait for the ideal time or the right time?
What is the ideal time? What is the right time? What’s the difference between the two?

When we say the ideal time or the right time, we think that it is the same thing. But the idea of ideal things is a myth. There might be a thin line of difference but there is a difference between the ideal time and the right time.

The ideal time is when every circumstance and every situation favours you and you are ought to succeed. And the right time is when there are chances that all things and circumstances might not be in your favour but having few things working at your side, you can take the call and it is a sound thing to do.

It is a thought that when would be the right time and when would be the ideal time for someone.

When is the right time?

The right time is when you feel you are in a position to bear the risk. It is more about your beliefs, instincts and faith on your capabilities and desire to achieve.

When would be the Ideal Time?

There would be no Ideal Time. The ideal time is just an excuse to give up on most of the desires and goals. There can’t be an ideal time but yes there can be a right time when you can start.

The Right Time or The Ideal Time?

Not Ideal but the right time for

There are many things we postpone and reschedule as we don’t feel the time to be ideal. For a fact, it would never be. You have to ensure that if you feel right, you are set to go. You can take a bit of hardship and extra effort if you wish to follow your wishes.

Things for which we do not have to wait for The Ideal Time

Start a business

Most of the businesses have a history of failed attempts and their journey of struggle. They succeeded even when the circumstances were not in their favour but they made it with their determination and belief. Nobody came with an ideal plan of success and had it all. Waiting for an ideal business plan to start would never lead you anywhere. When you have belief in the things you are doing, it is the right time for you.

Switch a job

Switching a job is not a bad thing to do. When an individual switches a job, it is not always about the issues with the present employer or organization. It is more about the personal need to grow and explore opportunities. If you think there are opportunities one should not hesitate to explore. We can’t predict completely the outcome of any opportunities. You have to believe in your judgement and inner beliefs. If you keep on waiting for all the ideal circumstances then there would be no right time ever.

Learn a new hobby

Once we begin with our professional life, the activities or hobbies we skip doing. No matter an individual is doing a job or is into a business, we tend to give less time to our hobbies or things which interest us. We often plan to resume but we keep on postponing it to a later time. If one plans to learn a hobby, the right time is in your hand. If we analyze our time dedication to the current activities, I am sure we can find a time slot which we are wasting on not so relevant things and which can be utilised in learning something valuable or interest.

Health

The right time is NOW.

You can’t and never should compromise on health. The right time to focus on health is NOW. Period

Invest

We plan on investment but sometimes we are so burdened with our expenses that we focus less on investment. The one truth about life is that expenses won’t be lower down but we have to earn more. For future uncertainties, savings won’t be enough but investment definitely could help. The investment will grow your savings for a secured future. There are bundles of investment avenues that allow you to invest in a small and systematic way that won’t burden you. There would be no ideal time but the right time to invest is in your hand.

Plan a vacation

Planning is one good thing that has so many advantages but few things are done when you feel it. There is no rule that you can plan holidays during a specific time or for a particular event. There is always the right time when you feel it. We often worry about the budget as a vacation burns hole in the pocket but you can save in itinerary but one shouldn’t postpone the call for a vacation.

Conclusion:

There would never be the ideal situation or time we would like to have. If we wish to achieve something we have to take up the task when we think we can take up the responsibility and charge of it.

Don’t wait for an ideal time but begin when you think that it is the right time for you.

13 Things We Expect To Be Ideal But It is an Ideal Myth

August 11, 2025August 26, 2020 by The Ideal Myth

13 Ideal things we expect to be ideal but it is an ideal myth

We struggle for ideal circumstances but it is a myth that there can be something like an ideal. There can be right and there can be wrong but is there anything we can expect as ideal?

We seek for ideal things and ideal circumstances in a world which is divided into countries, religion, ethnicity, caste and state. In the persistence to seek Ideal things and Ideal situation, we stop celebrating the things we have and savour the present moment.

We expect our partners to be ideal or perfect

We expect our job or business to be ideal

Ideal Myth is about the myth of our expectation of Ideal things and circumstances. It is not less than a Myth to expect something Ideal.

We wait for the situation, time to be ideal but It is a myth that there could be anything ideal. There are 13 things that we expect to be ideal but it is an Ideal Myth

1. Life

One of the biggest myth is to seek for an ideal life. I have seen people seeking for an ideal life. They envy the life of others and repent the things they have. Everyone has their struggles to deal with. We struggle for money, health, love and so many things. There is struggle always but can’t expect things perfect. The struggle doesn’t mean suffering as well.

2. Friendship

There is no need to explain much about it. We all have friends who are not all alike us and all perfect. Most of the times we know their ill-habits but we don’t mind. We know sometimes they annoy but we don’t mind. The imperfection and the realness in the relationship are what we don’t want to change. If we try to change or make rules about it, the very existence of the friendship would cease to exist. The flawed or the imperfect piece of friendship we rather can’t expect to be ideal.

3. Relationship

Every relationship is special and fragile in its way but is there any relationship which has never been into an argument or part of small fights. Is there any form of relationship which do not goes through ups and downs, never part of misunderstanding, no fights, no reconcile. Father-son, Mother-daughter, Young couples or elderly couples, at some point of time there are disagreements and differences. But can they be ideal? No, they Can’t.

So rather than expecting an ideal relationship, we should instead better understand the situation and should be keen to reconcile, forgive and empathize it. It might not make it ideal but strong.

4. Government

Government is run by individuals in groups and there cannot be everyone working with the same dedication or philosophy. Few Individuals wrongdoings cannot be exemplified as the face of the entire government as a sham. All fingers are not the same and we can’t them to be perfect. They might take some wrong decision and it is the right of its citizen to question them and needs to do in a civilized manner. Vandalism, violence and chaos like situation have now become common when any action of government is not acceptable. We can’t expect the government to be ideal and take perfect action all the time.

5. Job

If we look up for a job which provides better satisfaction and satisfy our long term goals, then it’s good. But expecting an Ideal Job where you don’t have to worry once we have it is a myth. We start as a beginner and we progress to different roles and responsibilities, pay scales and promotions. As we progress, we may require switching our job for new opportunities, learning new skills and knowledge to keep up.

6. Life Plans

Planning is necessary and one of the wise things to do. The question is all the planning in life works the way we plan. A well-earning job or business, marriage at 30, retirement at 50, one luxurious apartment, and many more things we plan. During the process of achieving it, we are spending the days, months and years of our life. Do we need to celebrate life when we have planned? No, we should celebrate or enjoy life when we find the opportunity to do so.

7. Ideal Circumstances

If we plan to start something, it’s always necessary to begin at the right time when most of the things are into your favorable. But if we wait to start something for things to get entirely into your favorable situation, we might not be able to start ever. Every time there may something which might not be the way we expect. So, in the situation either we should wait all the time to get it the way we want or we can begin if we find capable to deal with the situation.

8. Opinions

Our opinions and thoughts are often based on the values, principles, beliefs and our past experiences. It can differ between different individuals, groups, community and nation too. There can be different opinions on a single subject and there can be no one completely right or may not be completely wrong. An ideal opinion ceases to exist and is a myth.

9. Income

The income we want today, may not be enough a few years later. At present, we might find our superior’s income ideal but once we reach it, we urge to have more. It is nowhere wrong to crave more but can we reach to an ideal point. With the increase in income, we raise our lifestyle and living standards. Rather than expecting an ideal income, we should focus on the right avenues of investment for wealth creation.

10. Society

We know we want it the most but it is only a desire to have the ideal society but the reality of the society today itself bust the myth of Ideal Society. Political instability, inequality, religious conflicts, poverty, the war between countries, all of these things is enough to discard the notion of the ideal society.

11. Country

We all love the country where we are born and there is no doubt about it. Every citizen wishes for its country to be an ideal country which is free from any evils.

12. Solutions

When we suggest solutions or recommend something, we take the situation as generic. However hard we try we cannot get into the shoes of the person dealing with it. There can be real solutions which work on the actual and real problems. One ideal solution can’t be there for all the things.

13. Age

We have self- imposed on ourselves an ideal age to study, to retire, to learn anything or start something. There’s no ideal age for anything if you have any desire to pursue. It’s never late to pursue any passion, it’s never late to start your own business, never late to get married or get rid of any unwanted relationship.

The Ideal Myth is not about how things are not going to be perfect but instead, it is about how we shouldn’t waste our time getting perfect. In able to achieve or expecting ideal things, we stop living and savour the moment. It is completely alright to fail. There is no harm if you have made mistakes in life, you can begin now. Things would never be ideal but it is us who need to decide between all the chaos what is right for you and what’s not.

If you have something to add on to the list, kindly share in the comment section

We expect ideal circumstances to pursue any passion.