mental health Archives - The Ideal Myth

13 Things to Do When Life Is Tough

August 4, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

Life isn’t always smooth. Some days, it can feel like everything is crashing at once – work pressure, emotional breakdowns, health issues, relationship trouble, or just a general sense of emptiness. During such times, our instinct is often to shut down, isolate, or even punish ourselves emotionally. We spiral into overthinking, neglect our needs, or retreat into guilt and sadness.

But the truth is, when life is tough, we must treat ourselves with even more care, not less. Instead of making life harder, we should create a personal rescue plan – small, intentional acts that allow space for healing and hope. Here are 13 things to do when life gets tough – each one a gentle step back to self-love and resilience.

1. Take Long, Slow Walks

A walk in nature, a quiet neighbourhood, or even around your home can do wonders. Walking gives your mind space to breathe. It softens overwhelming emotions and brings you back to your body. When thoughts are racing, movement is grounding.

Try walking without your phone. Listen to your surroundings. Feel your feet hit the ground. Let each step be a symbol of moving forward, even when you feel stuck.

2. Find a Place of Solace

Whether it’s a favourite café, a temple, a beach, a balcony, or even a corner of your room, find a place where you feel calm. Visit it regularly. This place doesn’t solve your problems, but it becomes your breathing space.

Make it your zone of peace – read, write, cry, meditate, or just sit there. Having a designated space helps your mind feel safe.

3. Sleep Without Guilt

When life feels unbearable, sleep can be the medicine you didn’t know you needed. Often, we beat ourselves up for sleeping “too much” or being lazy. But exhaustion isn’t just physical – emotional burnout is real.

Give yourself permission to rest. Even a nap can reset your nervous system. Healing requires energy, and sometimes, sleep is step one.

4. Eat Things That Nourish and Comfort

Food isn’t just nutrition – it’s emotional. Eat something that brings warmth and comfort. Make a cup of tea. Bake cookies. Order your favourite meal. Even the act of feeding yourself lovingly is a form of self-respect.

Don’t obsess over what’s “healthy” – focus on what feeds your soul.

5. Meet New People or Reconnect with Old Friends

When life is tough, we often isolate ourselves. But connection is medicine. Talk to someone who won’t judge. Attend a group class. Visit a friend you’ve lost touch with. Human connection can remind you that you’re not alone, even when your mind tells you otherwise.

6. Travel Somewhere – Even for a Day

A change in environment can be the best therapy. You don’t have to go far or spend much. A short road trip, a nearby beach, or a day at a serene resort can help break the cycle of pain.

Travel forces you into the present moment. It gives perspective, shows you beauty, and introduces possibility – all important when you feel stuck.

7. Write Without Editing Yourself

When your heart is heavy, your journal should be your safest space. Write down everything you’re feeling – the pain, the anger, the confusion. Don’t worry about grammar or coherence.

Let your emotions spill on the page. You might not solve your problems, but you’ll feel seen by yourself.

8. Listen to Music That Matches or Shifts Your Mood

Music is a powerful emotional anchor. Sometimes, you need songs that understand your sadness. Other times, you need rhythms that pull you out of it.

Create two playlists – one that lets you feel your pain and one that slowly brings light into your day. Music is emotion in sound – use it intentionally.

9. Practice One Tiny Act of Kindness

When you’re in pain, helping someone else can be unexpectedly healing. It shifts your focus, brings perspective, and creates a ripple of positivity.

Compliment a stranger. Feed a stray. Call someone who might be lonely. Even small acts can reconnect you with humanity, including your own.

10. Move Your Body – Gently

You don’t need to hit the gym or run a marathon. But stretching, yoga, dancing, or light workouts release endorphins and help you process built-up emotions.

Movement breaks the loop of numbness and reminds you that you’re alive, capable, and deserving of care.

11. Unplug and Escape the Noise

Social media can often amplify your sadness. Seeing curated perfection when you’re hurting makes it worse. Take a break. Turn off notifications. Disconnect from the noise and expectations.

Instead, read a book. Watch a feel-good movie. Sit in silence. Reconnect with you.

12. Talk to a Professional (Or Someone You Trust Deeply)

Tough times often feel heavier because we carry them alone. You don’t have to. Whether it’s a therapist, mentor, or a wise friend, talking helps. Say the things you’re afraid to say. Let your pain breathe in a safe space.

Seeking help isn’t a weakness. It’s wisdom.

13. Remind Yourself: This Is Not the End

No matter how heavy this moment feels, it is not forever. Life changes – even the painful parts. Remind yourself daily: “This is just a chapter. I will write a new one.”

Create reminders that give you hope – sticky notes, wallpapers, affirmations. Hope is a decision, even before it’s a feeling.

When You Want to Give Up, Give Yourself to Healing Instead

It’s easy to spiral deeper when life is hard. You might feel broken or beyond repair. But healing is rarely loud. It’s in the small steps, the quiet kindness you show yourself, the moments you decide not to give up.

Let this be your reminder: When life is tough, don’t fight yourself – fight for yourself.

You are not alone in your struggle. You are not weak for needing rest. And you are not failing - you’re simply human.

Getting Attached – When It’s Good and When It’s Not. How to Avoid Too Much.

August 11, 2025June 1, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

The Nature of Attachment

Attachment is a natural part of being human. We get attached to people, places, habits, dreams, and even feelings. From childhood, we’re wired to seek connection – it’s how we feel safe, seen, and loved.

But what happens when attachment crosses a line?

When it starts to suffocate rather than support? When it turns from connection into dependency? And when we’re no longer ourselves unless someone else is near?

This blog explores the dual nature of attachment – how it can enrich your life or silently control it – and how to develop healthy bonds without losing your balance.

Understanding Attachment: What Is It, Really?

In psychological terms, attachment is an emotional bond we form with others that gives us a sense of safety and belonging. It begins in infancy, with parents or caregivers, and continues through every stage of life.

Attachment isn’t just romantic or familial. It can be to:

A friend
A partner
A mentor
A routine
A place
An idea or dream
Even an identity

The core question isn’t if you’ll get attached – it’s how and to what extent. And whether that attachment helps or harms you.

When Getting Attached Is Good

Not all attachment is bad. In fact, healthy attachment is essential for emotional well-being and growth.

1. It Creates Trust and Safety

When you feel securely attached to someone, you trust them. You feel emotionally safe and accepted. This security is a foundation for love, vulnerability, and connection.

2. It Deepens Relationships

Attachment, when mutual and balanced, brings people closer. It allows emotional intimacy and loyalty to flourish.

3. It Motivates Personal Growth

Attachment to a purpose, passion, or goal can drive consistency and effort. It helps you stay committed, even through hard times.

4. It Brings Joy and Belonging

Healthy emotional bonds are deeply fulfilling. They provide companionship, meaning, and a sense of home.

In short, attachment is good when it flows with freedom – not fear. When it complements your identity – not replaces it.

When Getting Attached Becomes a Problem

While connection is beautiful, overattachment can be dangerous. It can cloud judgment, breed insecurity, and create emotional chaos.

1. You Rely on Others for Your Identity

If your sense of worth, happiness, or stability depends on another person, it’s no longer love – it’s dependency.

“I don’t know who I am without them” is a red flag.

2. You Fear Loss Constantly

Anxiety, jealousy, and control issues often arise when you’re too attached. You start trying to own rather than love.

3. You Tolerate Unhealthy Behaviour

You may stay in toxic situations – friendships, jobs, relationships – because you can’t imagine life without them.

4. You Lose Yourself

Your opinions, routines, desires, and dreams start to revolve around another person. You become a shadow of who you once were.

5. You Struggle to Let Go

Even when something is clearly harmful or over, you cling. Your heart says stay, even when your soul says leave.

Why Do We Get Too Attached?

Understanding the why can help prevent overattachment from taking root.

1. Fear of Being Alone

Many people attach quickly or deeply because solitude feels unbearable. They’d rather be in a bad bond than be by themselves.

2. Childhood Attachment Wounds

If you grew up with inconsistent love, neglect, or emotional absence, you might seek security intensely as an adult.

3. Low Self-Worth

When you don’t believe you’re enough on your own, you search for someone to validate you, fill the gap, or make you feel worthy.

4. Idealisation

Sometimes we don’t fall for people – we fall for who we think they are. This fantasy attachment keeps us locked in illusions.

Signs You’re Getting Too Attached

Be mindful of these behaviours:

You check your phone obsessively for their messages.
You feel anxious when they don’t reply quickly.
You alter your plans, values, or identity for them.
You prioritise them over your own well-being.
You can’t imagine life without them – even if they hurt you.

Awareness is the first step toward balance.

How to Develop a Healthy Attachment

The goal isn’t to become detached or cold. It’s to form bonds rooted in love, not fear.

Here’s how:

1. Strengthen Your Relationship With Yourself

Spend time alone. Learn what you love, what you fear, and what you value. Become your own source of joy.

The stronger your self-relationship, the healthier your external attachments.

2. Set Boundaries

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take space. Boundaries aren’t walls – they’re bridges to a healthier connection.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Notice when your emotions are being driven by insecurity or fear. Respond consciously rather than react impulsively.

4. Don’t Rush Emotional Intimacy

Let relationships build naturally. Slow attachment tends to be stronger and more realistic.

5. Detach With Love

If something is hurting you, let go-not with anger, but with compassion. Detachment isn’t about giving up; it’s about choosing peace.

What Healthy Attachment Looks Like

You love deeply but aren’t afraid to walk away if needed.
You support others without losing yourself.
You trust without controlling.
You give space and take space without guilt.
You know that your happiness is your responsibility.

This is the balance we all deserve.

You Can Love Without Losing Yourself

Getting attached isn’t wrong. It’s a part of human nature. What matters is the quality of your attachment.

Choose people, dreams, and ideas that add to your life, not consume it.

Love freely, but hold yourself first.

Connect deeply, but stay rooted in your own soul.

Let go when needed, and trust that what is meant will stay.

You don’t need to stop getting attached.

You just need to start getting attached the right way.

Dealing with heartbreak, loss and pain: how to heal

August 11, 2025May 23, 2025 by The Ideal Myth

When Life Breaks You Open

At some point in life, we all face the shattering weight of loss – whether it’s the end of a relationship, the passing of a loved one, the collapse of a dream, or the betrayal of someone we trusted. Heartbreak, grief, and pain are universal experiences, yet when they hit us, they feel deeply personal, isolating, and overwhelming.

You may feel broken, helpless, or numb. You may ask questions with no answers – “Why me?” or “How do I move forward?”

The truth is, pain is part of being human. But so is healing. In this post, we’ll explore how to process heartbreak, navigate loss, and rise from pain-not by pretending to be okay, but by allowing yourself to feel, to grow, and to eventually rediscover light after darkness.

1. Acknowledge the Pain Without Judgment

The first step in healing is acknowledging what you feel. Don’t rush it. Don’t minimise it. Pain demands presence.

Whether it’s heartbreak, the death of someone dear, or a painful ending, suppressing emotions only prolongs suffering. Say it aloud if you need to:

“I am hurting. I feel broken. This is hard.”

There is no shame in your sorrow. Grief is love with nowhere to go. Let it be felt.

You can’t heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel.

2. You Are Not Alone in Your Suffering

One of the cruellest lies pain tells us is that we are alone. But every person you pass has carried or is carrying a heartbreak. It may not look the same, but pain unites us all.

Talk to someone. A friend. A therapist. A journal. Words bring release. Sharing lightens the burden, even if just a little.

What you are feeling is valid, and you don’t have to carry it alone.

3. Allow Time to Do Its Work

You won’t heal overnight. You won’t wake up one morning and feel “back to normal.” Healing is messy, non-linear, and often full of setbacks.

You may feel okay one day and shattered the next. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re healing.

Give time a chance. One breath, one day, one step at a time.

Healing isn’t a race. Let it unfold at your own pace.

4. Don’t Rush to “Move On” – Learn to “Move Through”

People may tell you to “move on” as if loss is a chapter you can close. But you don’t move on from deep pain. You move through it, integrate it. And you let it become a part of your story, not the end of it.

Let your pain shape you, not shatter you. Let it deepen your compassion, not your bitterness.

Moving through pain means honouring it, not escaping it.

5. Create Rituals of Goodbye and Closure

Loss often leaves a hole – unfinished conversations, unsaid words, unanswered questions. Creating a ritual can help you say goodbye.

Write a letter you’ll never send. Light a candle. Revisit a memory. Bury something symbolic. Closure doesn’t always come from others – it can come from within you.

Honour what was, so you can begin to build what will be.

6. Rebuild Your Identity

When we lose someone or something dear, we often lose a part of ourselves. Who are you without that person, that relationship, that dream?

This is the hard part – but also the beautiful part. You get to redefine yourself.

Start small. Try something new. Revisit passions you abandoned. Reinvent what life looks like now.

You are not your loss. You are who you become after it.

7. Be Gentle With Your Triggers

The song. The street. The photo. Grief has a way of sneaking up on us through reminders. Don’t fight the tears or scold yourself for feeling “set back.”

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Let the memories come. Cry. Smile. Feel whatever shows up. And know this – triggers fade. The pain dulls. It won’t always hurt like this.

Triggers don’t mean you’re broken. They mean you loved.

8. Practice Daily Acts of Self-Compassion

Heartbreak demands compassion – not just from others, but especially from yourself.

Eat nourishing food. Rest when you’re tired. Take walks. Breathe deeply. Speak kindly to yourself.

Treat yourself like someone you love – because you are someone worth loving, even in your most fragile state.

Healing starts with how you treat yourself in your pain.

9. Channel Pain Into Purpose

Many beautiful things are born from heartbreak – art, music, poetry, strength, and wisdom. When you’re ready, use your pain as a tool. Write about it. Create something. Support someone else going through the same.

Your story could be someone else’s lifeline. Let your scars speak – not of what broke you, but of what rebuilt you.

Pain can be the beginning of something powerful. Let it shape your purpose.

10. Believe in Joy Again

One day, you will laugh again. You’ll wake up without the heaviness. And you’ll dance. You’ll love. You’ll hope.

That day may not be today. But it’s coming. Don’t lose faith in the possibility of joy. Keep your heart open, even if just a crack. Let the light in.

You are allowed to feel joy again. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten – it means you’ve survived.

You Will Make It Through

It’s hard to believe when you’re in it, but you will make it through this. You won’t always feel this lost, this broken, this empty.

The pain may never fully leave – but neither will the love, the strength, or the lessons it brought.

You are not weak for hurting. You are strong for staying. And every day you choose to breathe, to rise, to try again – you are healing.

Your Heart Will Beat Again

Loss, heartbreak, and pain are not endpoints. They are thresholds. And forces you to confront life’s fragility and your own resilience. They hurt – but they also shape.

You may not be who you were before, but you are becoming someone new – someone wiser, softer, stronger.

So let the tears fall. Let time pass. Let hope return. Because your heart will beat again, and when it does, it will beat with deeper meaning and greater strength.